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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24840925">Ophelia</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanakoryu/pseuds/Hanakoryu'>Hanakoryu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Death Note &amp; Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime &amp; Manga), Death Note: Another Note</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Crack, Attempt at Humor, B x hairpin is an addiction, Crack, Morning Routines, References to Shakespeare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:48:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,601</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24840925</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanakoryu/pseuds/Hanakoryu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's within human nature to get attached to things that are not even alive - and we think it's wrong and devious, all considered true values shouldn't be influenced by the material world. But whether it's right or wrong, we should give up on judgment.<br/>But... there are exceptions.<br/>[Blight with a bad attempt at crack humor and Shakespeare cries all his tears]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beyond Birthday/Yagami Light</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ophelia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akicchi/gifts">Akicchi</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello DN fandom!<br/>This silly story was born months ago in one of my convo with Aki - we spend too much time coming up with silly ideas on our ship haha Crack humor is not my forte and I'm out of practice, but I hope you will enjoy this short story!<br/>Ja ne,<br/>Hana</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's within human nature to get attached to things that are not even alive - and we think it's wrong and devious, all considered true values shouldn't be influenced by the material world. But whether it's right or wrong, we should give up on judgment. Does the possession of a certain object bring us joy? Does its loss make you feel vulnerable, if not completely exposed to other people's judgment?</p>
<p>
  <em> (Well, Light wouldn't certainly want to lose the Death Note and he wouldn't even imagine how just a simple black notebook made him feel so happy and alive.) </em>
</p>
<p>Last but not least, scientific studies have shown that possessing material needs and goods increases the biochemical substance in our brain called dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter and chemical receptor in our brain, responsible for emotions such as sadness, happiness, and anger <em>and bla bla bla, okay we get it.</em> So, again, and given his own experience, Light wouldn't ever judge someone's attachment to a lifeless object.</p>
<p><em> But </em>... there are exceptions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What are you doing?”</p>
<p>It's early in the morning when Light enters the bathroom for his skincare routine. You can't be taken as a serious God of the New World with microscopic teenage pimples and the skin color of a zombie after all.</p>
<p>He's not even surprised to find the bathroom already occupied by his roommate, he had given up on any common sense of privacy when Beyond started living in his apartment. And he's not even surprised to see the black polish nail and various makeup items scattered all over the sink, a sight that inevitably makes his brows furrowing in annoyance.</p>
<p>“Careful, careful of your crow's feet, baby God! It looks like a hoard of chicken ran all over your face!” Smudged black-rimmed eyes snicker at the exasperated reflection of Light in the mirror. Beyond goes on to brush his wild hair with what looks like a hairpin, ignoring Light's first question. Light really hopes he's still sleepy because it's absurd and surreal to see someone brushing their hair with a little hairpin that of course <em> can't </em> be a proper substitute for a comb.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?” He asks again, leaning closer just to reach for his skin toner and the moisturizer in the cabinet. As his arm lowers with the prized products in hand, the hairpin is inches away Light's eyes and Beyond's pointy nose is almost digging in his chin with a mysterious and dangerous aura.</p>
<p>“What the hell, Beyond?!”</p>
<p>Living with a sociopath murderer surely sharpens one's survival instincts and Light should somehow be grateful for that, though a more appreciated gift would be avoiding any futile shock at 8 in the morning with just four hours of sleep left behind and have five minutes alone in the damn bathroom. But <em> oh no </em>, Beyond Birthday doesn't look like sharing the same thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A little scuffle occurs next, ending up with the noisy clattering of metallic bottles hitting the floor and black petals of polish nail blossoming in the sink while Light and Beyond's arms are tangled in a sort of deadly embrace; Light's fingers are painfully stretched in the effort to keep away the murderous weapon, shining in faux innocence in the grasp of Beyond's claws.</p>
<p>“So rude of you, Yagami. I wanted to introduce you <em> Ophelia</em>.” Beyond shrugged in a rather melodramatic way, kissing the tip of the hairpin as he steps back. Light can finally take a breath when Beyond's <em> whatever-new-weapon </em> stops threatening his eyes and he raises a brow, perplexed. “Ophelia?” Then his glance turns from the hairpin to Beyond's pout several times before letting out a sigh. “It's an <em> hairpin</em>. And why were you using it to brush your hair?” Light's aware it's futile to keep up a conversation with a freak murderer, but Beyond's such a drama queen and he would complain despite all Light's effort to ignore him. So better let him speak and be done with whatever new idiocy the man came up with.</p>
<p>“It's not a simple hairpin! Don't insult her!”</p>
<p>Beyond's high-pitched yell pierces the wall of Light's patience, dangerously crumbling under his need to strangle the man once for all. <em> What a pity the Death Note doesn't work with a half Shinigami... </em></p>
<p>“I'm stating facts.”</p>
<p>“Because you can't recognize a true genius. But...” The hairpin waltzes in the air, too close to Light's eyes again and the teen huffs in frustration, stepping back while applying the cream onto his face. “Ophelia is wonderful! I would be lost without her!” Beyond seems to be ignoring Light's horrified expression as he pirouettes on himself, bare feet kicking the makeup bottles everywhere nonchalantly and kissing the hairpin with the devotion of a true lover. “She's so good at cleaning knives! You should see it yourself how shiny they are now!”</p>
<p>“Beyond, really, do you-”</p>
<p>“And she's the ultimate toothbrush! I can give you a demonstration right away!”</p>
<p>“NO, THANKS.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Light exits the bathroom minutes later, followed by Beyond's mocking singing “You don't know love 'til it tears up your heart... And cuts it and leeeeaaaaves you with scars! You're still feeeeeling... You don't know love~”.</p>
<p>Ryuk snickers observing the psychopath singing and holding the hairpin like a microphone, somehow fascinated by human brilliance. “<b>Neh Light-o.</b>” He calls for the teen, twisting his body enough to get a glimpse of Light preparing his school bag. “ <b>Would that thing be helpful to scratch my feathers? I'm a little itchy right here...</b>”</p>
<p>Light simply shakes his head and gets out as quickly as he can.</p>
<p>
  <em> Why am I surrounded by idiots? </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The apartment is too quiet when Light gets back home in the late afternoon. The roller shutters are closed and each room is wrapped in a comfortable dark blanket, any sound engulfed in a quiet bubble where you can lie down and rest for hours in a dreamless state. Light steps in on tiptoes carefully, <em> it's the quiet before the storm </em> he tells himself because his sixth sense knows something is off - <em> yes, but what? </em> Even Ryuk seems strangely alert, eyes gleaming with curiosity in the direction of the soft yellow light coming from the bathroom.</p>
<p>Light follows behind, but he stops in the middle of the corridor when a low whine echoes through the walls.</p>
<p>"<em>O pale Ophelia! beautiful as snow! Yes child, you died, carried off by a river! It was the winds descending from the great mountains of Norway that spoke to you in low voices of better freedom </em>."</p>
<p>Beyond's dramatic play is on stage, a black figure curled over the bathtub with trembling hands in his messy hair to enforce the desperation shaking his body and candles glowing in the darkness of the room.</p>
<p>Light inhales and exhales one, two, three times before he announces his presence with a slight tapping of fingers against the door. "What the hell is happening here?" His eyes squint to catch a sight of <em> what </em> is in the bathtub. The candles enlighten the frame of something small floating on the water, a paper boat perhaps?</p>
<p>Without even waiting for an answer, Light switches on the light, breaking the soothing magic of the darkness and the candles. </p>
<p>"You monster! You ruined the funeral!" </p>
<p>Beyond turns to yell at Light, black streams of makeup running down his cheeks. Light can't tell if he cried for real or if it's just for the theatrical scene. It doesn't matter anyway. </p>
<p>"What are you talking about?!"</p>
<p>There's effectively a paper boat floating on the water and the residuals of… <em> Ophelia the hairpin, yes</em>, is lying inside. So...</p>
<p>"She died!"</p>
<p>The truth hits and sinks in with all the desperation of a broken heart, though Light isn't touched by the little show -most likely he wonders why he felt so benevolent to give Beyond a home, to accept his help, who cares if the Death Note can't kill him, there are always other methods… Ah, he really regrets his past choice now.</p>
<p>Ryuk pats Beyond's shoulder as his tall figure looms over the bathtub to get a look at the broken hairpin. Too bad, he won't ever know if that thing is useful to scratch his feathers.</p>
<p>"<b>My condolence. I can… uh… share an apple with you if ya want</b>."</p>
<p>"Thanks, Ryuk."</p>
<p>Light stands in front of the tub, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Maybe, just maybe, if he closes his eyes for a while, everything will disappear. Beyond, the candles, Ryuk, the petals of rose drowning in the water, the paper boat, and that damn hairpin.</p>
<p>"Beyond."</p>
<p>"Yeah?"</p>
<p>"End this farce quickly, please."</p>
<p>"You little heartless piece of shit, you-" </p>
<p>"<em>Now.</em>"</p>
<p>Beyond sniffs loudly and mutters something unintelligible between gritted teeth before turning towards the dead hairpin. His eyes soften and are filled with pure love while he removes the drain stopper, letting the water running down along with the paper boat and the petals. The motion causes the paper to mash into the water, forming a conglomerate that inevitably blocks the drain. The broken pieces of the hairpin stick into the tube, as if clinging desperately to a life it's never had. </p>
<p>"My queen! Evil till the end!" </p>
<p>Beyond claps his hands with tears of joy running down his cheeks, while Light lets out an exasperated sigh and decides to leave the bathroom before his hands <em> accidentally </em> slip to strangle the sociopath murderer. </p>
<p>"You have five minutes to clean this damn mess or I will throw away all your damn books."</p>
<p>It has been a bad idea to give the man all those Shakespeare's books to read… A God should have foreseen that possible consequence.</p>
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